Dating in 2025 involves navigating a minefield of red flags such as gaslighting, abusive or controlling behaviour, and love-bombing.
Now, dating experts and psychologists have warned singles about yet another toxic trend after fans of American reality show Love Is Blind called out a contestant for what many believed was a textbook example of ‘floodlighting’.
On the latest season of the series, Minnesota-based Madison Errichiello was accused of ‘floodlighting’ one of her suitors, Alex Mason, and ‘treating every date like a therapy session’ by one Reddit user.
Not to be confused with ‘trauma-dumping’, or sharing traumatic experiences in a way that might be overwhelming for the listener, ‘floodlighting’ involves divulging lots of sensitive details about their lives very early in a relationship in a bid to ‘speed up intimacy’.
‘Floodlighting in dating is about using vulnerability as a high-intensity spotlight,’ the co-founder of dating app So Synced, Jessica Alderson told Glamour UK.
‘It involves sharing a lot of personal details all at once – to test the waters, speed up intimacy, or see if the other person can ‘handle’ these parts of you.’
Commenting on Madison’s behaviour towards Alex, Louella noted there’s a ‘fine line’ between opening up to your date and ‘floodlighting’ while highlighting how couples on the show have a limited amount of time to build connections.
However, Madison and Alex’s experience, which ultimately ended in the couple parting ways, has turned the spotlight on how using vulnerability to test your compatibility can be harmful for everyone involved.
Not to be confused with ‘trauma-dumping’, or sharing traumatic experiences in a way that might be overwhelming for the listener, ‘floodlighting’ involves divulging lots of sensitive details about their lives very early in a relationship (Stock image)
Experts have warned that ‘floodlighting’ can be harmful to both parties (Stock image)
The term ‘floodlighting’ is credited to American academic and podcaster Brene Brown, who coined it in her book The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connections and Courage.
‘Oversharing? Not vulnerability; I call it floodlighting…,’ Brown wrote. ‘A lot of times we share too much information as a way to protect us from vulnerability, and here’s why.
‘It’s how we protect ourselves from vulnerability. We just engage in a behavior that confirms our fear.’
Discussing floodlighting in a TikTok video shared last March, American actress Becca Tobin and the host of The Lady Gang podcast said it ‘presents as somebody who is very open and very vulnerable’ in a TikTok video shared last March.
The Glee star noted: ‘When they overshare a lot right up front … they’re floodlighting you, flashing these lights into your face.
‘Essentially, it’s their armour to make you think they’re very open.’
According to Jessica, some common signs of ‘floodlighting’ in relationships include sharing too much information too quickly and an ‘unbalanced exchange’ of personal details and trauma that creates ‘an uneven balance’ with one person carrying most of the emotional baggage.
The person ‘floodlighting’ their partner will also often test their ‘boundaries’ and analysing their reactions to the information being disclosed to see how it is being received. 
American actress Becca Tobin and the host of The Lady Gang podcast noted that it ‘presents as somebody who is very open and very vulnerable’ in a TikTok video shared last March
‘If you can see that someone is carefully watching your reactions to their disclosures,’ she told the magazine, ‘it could be a sign of floodlighting.’
The person on the receiving end, she continued, might ‘end up feeling overwhelmed’ and reeling from the sudden disclosure of things like a traumatic childhood or abusive relationships in a short period of time.
Defending her time in the Love Is Blind pods, Madison told E! News: ‘I know who I am. I know why I did what I did, and I don’t think there was any gameplay involved in any of my choices.
‘Floodlighting’ is the latest toxic dating trend to sweep the internet after experts previously sounded the alarm over ‘snowmanning’ or when the interests of a new sexual partner ‘melt away’ within 24 hours.
The prevalence of the trend, coupled with the fact 80 per cent of Brits admit to having unprotected sex, could spark a rise in nasty infections, doctors warned last December.
Dr Crystal Wyllie, GP at Asda Online Doctor, told FEMAIL that those who commit ‘snowmanning’ often disappear without exchanging contact details with their sexual partner.
This could mean previous flings who they may have passed an STI on to would be none-the-wiser, and potentially continue to spread it.
That’s why she urged eople to use contraception or routinely test for sexually transmitted infections to stay safe from diseases such as gonorrhea and syphilis.
